First, there was church in the morning. The pastor talked about a new sermon series they're starting about God's promises. Here are some of the notes I took:
"When something hits us we either lean into God or run away."
Then he asked some pretty serious questions. One he asked was, "God promises HIMSELF. Is that enough?" YIKESABEE. Some days I'm not sure. He talked about the unspoken agreements we have with God. The bargains we sometimes have with him. "Well, I'm being obedient, so why hasn't this happened yet?" To which Pastor Ben says, "God is faithful, but not in your timing."
For me personally, I've been struggling with my own unspoken agreements. I thought that since God has broken my heart my heart for victims of sex trafficking then I would be volunteering or have a full time job in that ministry by now. I had set my own weirdo timeline and was frustrated with God for not keeping up with it. I was frustrated with GOD for not answering me in time. In what time? Well, the real question is in who's timing? And the answer would be mine.
Do want to know the real kicker from this morning's sermon? It was when he talked about a woman that had a sword held to her throat to coerce her into denouncing her faith. And even in that moment FACING DEATH, she said, "It would be an honor to die for Jesus." So he posed two questions. "What would your Christian community look like if it reflected her faith." I can't visualize that. I think it would be so full of God's fingerprints I can't comprehend what that would look like.
Then he asked the toughest question I've heard in a while. "What would your Christian community look like if it reflected your faith?" Ouch. Here's what it would look like:
- People would have such a small knowledge of the Bible
- They wouldn't be fed through the Word at all
- Everyone would struggle to follow God's Word because they don't know his actual Words.
- They would be impatient
- Judgement would reign high over any type of grace
- Forgiveness would be a tough obstacle to overcome, full of hesitancy and resentment
- There would be joy aplenty, but so little self-discipline it would be hard to get through a week (okay, fine a DAY) without regret
I could go on and on. We could all go on and on. But what are we going to do to change that. How do we go about living a faith that we would want others to reflect? I don't know if we ever get there, but we need to try. Which brings me to the second thing to hit me hard today.
Right now I'm super into Jen Hatmaker and how she lives her life after God interrupted hers. The book she wrote about her experience is actually called that: Interrupted. And it's because of what happened in that book that she was able to have the mindset that brought out 7 (another perception-altering book). In this book she talks about how Jesus came down for us. And if we are truly striving after him we need to come down for others. You know what? I'll just let her say it.
"Not only was Communion a symbolic ritual, it was a new prototype of discipleship. 'Continuously make My sacrifice real by doing this very thing.' Become broken and poured out for hopeless people. Become a living offering, denying yourself for the salvation and restoration of humanity. Obedience to Jesus' command is more than looking backward; it's a present and continuous replication of His sacrifice. We don't simply remember the meal; we become the meal.
Doesn't this concept of being broken for others ring true? It's a spiritual dynamic that bears out physically. Why is it so exhausting to uphold someone's heavy, inconvenient burden? Why are we spent from shouldering someone's grief or being an armor bearer? Why is it that lifting someone out of his or her rubble leaves us breathless? Because we are the body of Christ, broken and poured out, just as He was.
Mercy has a cost: someone must be broken for someone else to be fed."
I was reading this out loud to my housechum Hannah with the Alley church's morning sermon playing in the background of my head.
So that's a way for us to live a faith worth reflecting. BE BROKEN FOR OTHER PEOPLE. That means different things for everyone. For me it means, listening to girls share their stories of sex trafficking and brokenness and sorrow. It means taking that on, and then giving it to God. It means being full of grace and understanding and praying to God when I can't. It means feeling raw, powerful suffering. But I do know that God is bigger then that suffering. Which brings us to the last thing that cut me down today.
A few hours ago I was at another church called the Upper Room. And that pastor talked about a new sermon series that they're starting as well. It's called, "Can you drink the cup?" It's centered around the verse in Matthew where Jesus asks two of his disciples, "Can you drink the cup I'm about to drink?" They were being all disciple-y and wanted to know if they could have seats of power next to Jesus. Not getting the concept that Jesus was not going to be a king over anything. Instead he would be King of everything. But they weren't there mentally, so they asked (well, actually their mom did) if they could have seats of power in Jesus' court. So Jesus responds with "Can you drink the cup I'm about to drink?"
Given the light of my entire day, I took that to mean God was asking me, "Abby, can you drink the cup that I drank for you on that cross when I took on all of your sorrows and came down for you? Can you drink the cup of others' struggles, fears, mistakes, and shortcomings and come down for them? What kind of faith do you want to reflect?"
That's where I'm at right now. I really don't know the answer to those questions. But I know that as I become more involved with my ministry they are questions I'm going to need to address. Feel free to pray for me.
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