Ephesians 4

The other day, thanks to my friend, Debbie, I read Ephesians 4. And boy did it change my perspective re: drinking my cup.

A lot of Ephesians 4 is talking about the things we should be:
"Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other's faults because of your love."
"Put on your new nature, created to be like God - truly righteous and holy."
"Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them."

But I appreciate verses 31 and 32.
"Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you."

I was texting Debbie my thoughts on all of this. Basically, if we are going to become all of those Good things and produce the Fruits of the Spirit we need to get rid of some things. It's easy to have MOMENTS of patience and kindness. It's another thing to BE patient and kind. And in order for that to happen, we have to ask God to help rid ourselves of the opposite traits. So instead we are patient and kind with MOMENTS of impatience and unkindness. Thankfully our God is bigger than our faults. God is good. All the time.

So, how does this apply to me drinking my cup? Well, in order for me to drink my cup I'm going to need to rid myself of the things I cling to. The things I cling to and absolutely hate about myself. God is going to need to rip out my self-righteousness judgements. Because, guys. I am freaking self-righteous and judgmental. I am going to need to live alongside these women that have come from nothing. I will have to bring myself down to there level where there is no pure love, where they don't have money, where they can't provide for themselves or their children. Where they are angry and hardened and hungry. Hungry for a safe place to belong. I have always felt safe. ALWAYS. I've never had times of intense terror because of what a someone might do to me. And I'm not just talking about a john buying sex, but what a pimp might do because you didn't bring in enough money. Or you did bring in enough money, but he doesn't care. These are things I've never lived through.

And somehow, God is going to intercede and create relationships out of this brokenness. But I need to rid myself of my selfish self-righteous judge-y unforgiving self. And instead take Jesus at his word. He says that when I trust him I will become a woman who is patient and forgiving and GENTLE.

Starting next month I will spend every other weekend living as a monitor in transitional housing for women who have been victims of sex trafficking. I will be standing in the gap, just as Jesus did for me. Feel free to pray for me.